Seasons

Seasons are fictitious forces which act on the population of Earth. Not unlike physical fictitious forces (applicable in situations where they enable convenience given a non-inertial frame of reference) such as the centrifugal force (which is useful when fixing your frame of reference on a rotating object rather than the object with respect to which the rotation is occurring), Seasons are forces which explain why, given my emotional frame of reference, the Winter is so immensely depressing. Seasons are often hand-waved as the result of the Earth being crooked (or something), but do you really believe all that?

If not, you are most likely blessed with a mind capable of piercing even the most devious conspiracy and should read on. If so, you should tour our waste incineration chamber. I hear that's where they're serving the all-you-can-eat buffet.

Photographic evidence of their guilt

Damning Evidence

It has been observed that the weather varies suspiciously little inside the confines of the Floridian United State. It is obvious to anyone who's paying attention that they are manufacturing the so-called "seasons" and have simply elected to protect themselves from their meteorological bastard child using some sort of shield apparatus. The details of the device are currently unknown to outsiders (us), but we are conducting investigations. We are confident in our suspicions about the supposed device because it is the simplest and most obvious explanation of the available empirical evidence.

Counter-Measures

We can fight cold in winter make cold go down hot go up by doing the following: steal computers Mine lotsa bitcoin hehehehheheh

Benefits:

• Why not?
• Lods emone
• make heat
• destroy the environment
• destroy the economy
• destroy everything

We can also conduct a hostile takeover of Florida if they let us and we ask nicely.